“Evidently the cost of keeping John Barleycorn buried is going to be as expensive as the bill for killing him.”
“Perhaps Mars wants to know what we are going to do with our leftover supply of Gordon gin, if any.”
“The champion optimist of the world lives in Flushing. He has just bought a saloon.”
“Many a café waiter is now in the secret service. He can serve a drink so that nobody but the customer knows it.”
“There was a total eclipse of the moon the other night, but as yet there hasn’t been a total eclipse of the moonshine.”
Illustration: The Drunkard’s Progress: A lithograph by Nathaniel Currier supporting the temperance movement, January 1846 courtesy Library of Congress.